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A little while ago I did some research into the term ‘ the sandwich generation’, collated the facts and wrote an article based on what I had found on the internet. Facts are one thing - what I misunderstood and totally underestimated was the emotional stress and exhaustion it can cause. Last Saturday I went to see my mum who lives alone 35 minutes drive away. Until recently she still drove and therefore was not worried if we didn’t visit more than once a week. However, at 92 she decided it was time to relinquish her driving license, and to be honest the whole family was relieved. But what no one had realised was the impact this would have on all of us. She feels she has lost her independence and is a burden and we worry she is alone so much more as she is unable to get out and about easily. She now needs someone to take her to appointments, do her shopping and visit friends. Of course, she’s not a burden and I am happy to do this (and so is my sister but she works full time and travels a lot with her job). But this weekend I saw a glimpse of what lies ahead for us as a family and experienced what many people have to cope with on a daily basis and it is truly exhausting. Welcome to the sandwich generation My sister and brother-in-law needed help moving their daughter into a new house after her partner left her with a two-year-old and a baby due in a few weeks. I took my mother to the shops had a quick cup of tea and then drove over to meet my sister. Just as I arrived mum called to say she’d forgotten she needed to collect a parcel. Then my daughter messaged to say she was feeling a bit down and was coming home. Meantime my husband who is struggling to walk due to an ongoing knee injury called to tell me one of our dogs is throwing up. I was truly welcomed to the sandwich generation! Navigating life as a new member of the sandwich generation The term "sandwich generation" refers to a generation of individuals who find themselves caring for their ageing parents while simultaneously supporting and raising their own children. It typically comprises adults in their 40s to 60s. This generation is called "sandwich" because they are "sandwiched" between the needs of their parents and their children. With increased life expectancy and delayed parenthood, adult kids moving back home due to high rents more individuals are finding themselves in this situation. Financial strain for the sandwich generation One of the primary challenges faced by the sandwich generation is the financial strain resulting from supporting both their parents and children. Ageing parents may require assistance with medical expenses, long-term care, or housing costs. Meanwhile, their children's education, extracurricular activities, and daily expenses can place additional financial burdens. Juggling these financial obligations can lead to stress, debt and a compromised financial future. Emotional and psychological stress Caring for ageing parents while raising children can create significant emotional and psychological stress and balancing the needs of both generations can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and burnout. The emotional toll of witnessing parents' health decline while trying to provide the best care possible, all while meeting the needs of one's children, can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Getting the work-life balance Members of the sandwich generation often find themselves torn between their work responsibilities, caregiving duties and parenting obligations. The demands of providing care for ageing parents, , managing financial affairs, and addressing emergencies can leave little time for personal and professional pursuits. This delicate balancing act can strain relationships, impact career advancement, and impede the pursuit of personal goals and aspirations. Limited support networks Many people will face a lack of support networks to help them manage their caregiving responsibilities. Unlike previous generations, where multiple generations lived in close proximity, modern families are often scattered geographically. This isolation can make it challenging to share caregiving responsibilities or seek emotional support from extended family members. Limited access to respite care services, support groups, and community resources further exacerbates the strain. Impact on health and wellbeing The chronic stress experienced can have detrimental effects on physical and mental health. Constantly juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can lead to sleep deprivation, compromised immune systems, increased risk of chronic diseases, and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Neglecting self-care due to time constraints and prioritizing others' needs can further contribute to declining health and overall well-being. Coping strategies and solutions While the challenges faced may seem overwhelming, there are coping strategies and solutions that can help alleviate the strain: Open Communication Foster open and honest communication with both parents and children to set realistic expectations and boundaries. Discuss financial matters, caregiving responsibilities, and ensure everyone's needs and concerns are heard. Seek Support Reach out to support groups, community resources, and online forums for guidance, empathy, and advice from others facing similar challenges. Professional counselling can also provide a safe space to navigate the emotional complexities of the sandwich generation. "We are the Sandwich Generation, it's very tough, but you cannot do it without the support system and also you must ask for that support. There’s no shame in saying, do you know what guys, I’m; struggling. There’s no shame in that". Michelle Griffith Robinson, Olympian Delegate and Share Responsibilities Explore ways to delegate and share caregiving responsibilities with siblings, relatives, or professional caregivers. This can alleviate the burden and create a support network for all involved. Be honest with each other so as not to build resentment. Financial Planning Seek the advice of financial professionals to develop a comprehensive financial plan that considers both current caregiving needs and long-term financial stability. Explore options such as long-term care insurance, government assistance programs, and estate planning. Self-Care It is essential to provide effective care to others. Prioritize self-care to maintain physical and mental well-being. Listen to the Two Women Chatting podcast with Michelle Griffith-Robinson about how she copes with being part of the sandwich generation. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. Please visit our Midlife Library resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content.

The magic of Christmas is really special with young children in the house. But what happens when the little ones have grown and flown the nest, moved out with a partner or been away at university and found their independence? How does that change the dynamics of the festive season? The upsides of an 'adult' Christmas Well, there can be big upsides doing an ‘adult Christmas’. For those of you with school-age kids, imagine a world where you don’t dash around for hours finding the toy of the moment, sold out everywhere online or on the high street. A world where you don’t wake up at night with the horrific realisation that you haven’t re-positioned Buddy the Elf in an ever more creative scenario. How competitive that gets with celebrities such as Holly Willoughby and Stacey Solomon setting the bar high with Buddy hanging on for dear life to the shower head in the bath tub avoiding being eaten by gummy sharks, sitting coyly on a book shelf reading the Night Before Christmas or ‘drowning’ in a sea of mini marshmallows?! Although this American tradition is embryonic in its take up by the Brits, it is definitely gaining momentum and one we’re happy not to have to embrace annually! There are a few things to consider when planning an adult Christmas. When is the right time for the Christmas stocking to cease (obviously this is really decided by those at the North Pole)? Or would there be childish delight in a university student opening some wonderfully practical gifts from Father Christmas like Uber vouchers and toothbrushes, underwear or mini gin bottle ornaments and a subscription for Marie Claire? One of the most significant changes of refilling the empty nest and having adults home for the holidays is more time. More time to decorate, more time to freeze ahead, more time to plan. Hopefully less stress too. There’s absolutely no need to wake up at the crack of dawn to heft a 20 lb turkey into the oven so that it’s ready at exactly 1 o clock. What adult wouldn’t thank you for the chance of a lie in on Christmas Day? How about a few canapés and breakfast nibbles until you eventually serve up a mid-afternoon feast, before falling into a tryptophan-infused nap in front of the telly - whilst your adult kids get on with clean up! Activities don’t have to be centred around needy children, over-sugared, over-tired and cranky. A thousand-piece jigsaw left on a table that guests can potter around, a few pieces here, a few pieces there. Christmas movies with a Baileys or hot chocolate, reminiscing over childhood favourites. A cocktail/mocktail station where people can create their own drinks - and offer to make for the hosts of course. Do we really need to send Christmas cards these days? Polarising subject this… but one BILLION cards are bought each year in the UK. Does the planet really need this waste when all we put is ‘love from Claire and Mike’ with no other news inside. Wouldn’t a phone call really make someone’s day when we haven’t spoken in a while? Or even a digital Christmas card with a photo and a bit of chat would be warmly received. Our wonderful British tradition of crackers at the table could do with an environmental makeover too. You could make some sustainable, reusable crackers - even buying the ‘snaps’ on Amazon - personalising them for the recipient with a joke or inspiration that would appeal. Alternatively, ditch the crackers and pop a lottery card in any denomination under the side plates. Couldn’t we all do with a little luck this season? (Tip: ask the seller for all the tickets to come from the same roll. The higher the number of tickets bought, the more likely there will be at least one winner, even small). Finally… supposing they don’t come home at all at Christmas As they meet life partners there’s every chance they will ‘flip flop’ between parents. It’s easy to get competitive. Who will offer the best Christmas lunch, the best atmosphere, the best treats? Just remember it’s YOU they come to see. So the house with the least stress and fewer rigid expectations will be the one that is most attractive. If they’re not coming home, plan ahead. There are bound to be others who are alone this year or far from their families - invite them in, get together, have a potluck party but don’t be bitter. If you handle it right, your kids will be knocking on your door next year. Liz & Michelle co-hosts of the podcast Two Women Chatting will be enjoying Christmas this year with some of their adult kids and friends! Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates For more resources and blogs on midlife check out our midlife library of resources.

Much as we love our kids most of us are delighted when they leave home after shedding a tear along the way. You have done your job as a parent and it’s your time to enjoy life and take on new challenges, hobbies and enjoy the freedom. But what do you do when an adult child asks to move back home permanently? According to data from the Office of National Statistics, the number of families in England and Wales with adult children living with their parents is nearly 3.8 million (2021 census) an increase of almost 30% from 2011 and in the USA one-in-three U.S. adults ages 18 to 34 live in their parents’ home, according to U.S. Census Bureau data from 2021. What do you do when your adult child asks to move back home full-time? To have an adult child move back into the family home can be a big adjustment for both you and them but if you lay a few ground rules you can make the best of the situation – and may even enjoy it! The return of adult children can disrupt established routines and personal space. There needs to be some boundaries established on both sides. Be honest about plans and intentions from the start- they can’t just move back in as and expect you to be the parent you were before but also you need to remember they are adults and need to be treated as such. Tips for when an adult kid move back home Have an exit strategy- have an honest conversation with them on how long they are planning to stay and re-visit this every three months. Treat them as adults - as a parent we will always see our children as children whatever their age but it’s so important not to interfere in their lives and vice versa -yes many adult kids comment on their parent’s lifestyle when they return! Privacy and Independence - one of the main downsides for adult kids moving back home full-time is the potential loss of independence.  Living with parents will inevitably come with certain restrictions and expectations. Living together as adults doesn't mean sacrificing personal space and independence. Establish boundaries regarding private areas in the house and encourage open discussions about everyone's need for personal time and space. Set house rules - create a set of house rules, define responsibilities and make sure that everyone agrees. These rules can cover various aspects from shared spaces, visitors, routines and household chores but they must be unanimously agreed to ensure that the rules are fair and reasonable for all parties involved or it will only lead to strained relationships and resentment. Be accommodating – as a parent you will have your routines so you must try and make them work together. Organise things so that there isn’t a queue for the bathroom or the need to constantly shuffle cars around and you'll have a much happier household. Ask them to do their own washing and ironing but if this isn’t happening set a rota. If assistance isn’t offered for cleaning and cooking remind them they are not kids anymore but also maximise on their skills – maybe they would be happier helping in the garden? Paying their way- it is important to have this set in stone right from the start. If adult children are moving home due to financial hardship you will want to help them out but you also need to consider the additional expenses you'll potentially need to pay. If they are saving up for a deposit on a house or to travel then it can be a token gesture must pay something. You could consider: •            Charging them rent based on a percentage of their income – a rate of 10% would allow them to put a further 20% into savings or help them pay off loans. •            Charging them a flat rate to help cover your expenses. •            Charging them rent but discreetly putting some aside to give to them when they move out. If your adult kids are unable to contribute to bills or rent, ensure they earn their keep in other ways, perhaps by helping clean your car, working in the garden or other jobs you may pay someone else to do. 8. Communicate - if you feel you are being taken for granted, spending one too many nights ironing or finding the fridge empty or dishwasher yet again not emptied don't allow your irritation to fester. If something's bothering you make sure you discuss it with your adult child. It is a time of re-adjustment and can be challenging but if you set the boundaries from the start it can strengthen family bonds and create new memories. Please visit our Midlife Library for which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Sign up free to become part of the Two Women Chatting Midlife Sanctuary and receive exclusive updates.

A chat with Laura Hamilton about travel inspiration uncovered a new concept to us - nomadic visas. We went straight into full research mode to find out more…. In a world where age is just a number and wanderlust knows no bounds, midlife individuals are increasingly embracing the nomadic lifestyle. The concept of nomadic visas has opened up incredible opportunities for those seeking adventure, cultural enrichment, and professional growth. We decided to look into the benefits of nomadic visas specifically for midlife individuals and how they can unlock a new chapter of exploration and self-discovery. Fulfilling Unfinished Dreams For many midlife individuals, the obligations and responsibilities of earlier years may have hindered their ability to travel freely. Nomadic visas offer an exciting chance to fulfill those long-held dreams of exploration that may have taken a backseat during career-building or raising a family. It's the perfect time to embrace the world and quench that wanderlust. Cultural Immersion and Personal Growth With nomadic visas, you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in different cultures, expanding horizons and broadening perspectives. Living in a foreign country allows for a deeper understanding of local customs, traditions, and ways of life. This cultural immersion fosters personal growth, fostering empathy, adaptability, and a greater appreciation for diversity. Professional Flexibility with a Nomadic Visa Midlife individuals often possess a wealth of professional experience and expertise. Nomadic visas provide the ideal platform to leverage those skills while travelling to new places. Thanks to the rise of remote work and digital nomadism, many professionals can continue their careers or find new opportunities while enjoying the freedom of a nomadic lifestyle. It's a chance to reinvent oneself professionally while discovering new passions and talents. Health and Well-being Travel has proven benefits for mental and physical well-being, and we midlifers understand the importance of self-care. Nomadic visas offer a unique opportunity to prioritise health and well-being by engaging in outdoor activities, and discovering new wellness practices. Whether it's practicing yoga in Bali or hiking in the Swiss Alps, the world becomes a playground for rejuvenation and self-discovery. Nomadic visas provide adventurers with the chance to connect with like-minded individuals from all corners of the globe. Whether it's joining local communities, attending social events, or participating in coworking spaces, the world becomes a network of companionship and support. These connections can lead to lifelong friendships, business collaborations, and a sense of belonging in a global community. Embracing a nomadic lifestyle through the availability of nomadic visas can be a transformative experience. It offers the opportunity to fulfill long-held dreams, immerse yourself in different cultures, leverage professional skills, prioritise health and well-being, and build lasting connections. Whether you're seeking a new chapter of exploration, personal growth, or professional reinvention, nomadic visas open up a world of possibilities. So, why not take the leap, embrace your wanderlust, and embark on an incredible journey of self-discovery? The world is waiting for you! So where do I apply?! The specific application process can vary depending on the country you are interested in. Here are a few steps to get you started: Research your desired destinations. Look into countries that offer nomadic visas and find the one that suits your needs and preferences. Some popular options include Estonia, Barbados, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands, among others. Visit the official government website. Once you have identified your preferred destination, head to their official government website. There, you will find detailed information about their specific nomadic visa programme, requirements, and application process. Review eligibility criteria. Familiarise yourself with the eligibility criteria for the nomadic visa. Each country may have different requirements, such as proof of employment or self-employment, health insurance, sufficient funds, and a clear criminal record. Gather necessary documents. Prepare the necessary documents as outlined by the country's visa requirements. This may include a valid passport, proof of income or employment, health insurance coverage, and other supporting documents. Complete the application. Fill out the application form accurately and provide all requested information. Be sure to double-check for any additional documents or fees that may be required. Submit your application. Once you have completed the application, submit it through the designated channel specified by the country's government. This may be an online portal or a physical application center, depending on the country's requirements. Wait for a response. After submitting your application, patiently wait for a response. The processing time can vary, so it is always good to check the estimated processing time on the government website. Remember, it is essential to follow the specific guidelines and procedures set by the country you are applying to. Now…. go have that adventure! Listen to our chat with Laura Hamilton where we hear about her love of travel and work on the successful Channel 4 TV series 'A Place in The Sun'. Please visit our Midlife Library which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

Midlife women face a number of health challenges as they age, including hormonal imbalances, weight gain, and cognitive decline. One supplement that is gaining popularity among this demographic is MCT oil. MCT oil, or medium-chain triglyceride oil, is derived from coconut oil and contains unique fatty acids that are easily absorbed by the body and converted into ketones for energy. Here are some of the benefits that midlife women may experience from taking MCT oil: Weight Loss: MCT oil has been found to help boost metabolism, increase feelings of fullness, and reduce overall calorie intake. These factors can help midlife women lose weight and maintain a healthy body weight. 2. Hormonal Balance: MCT oil may help to balance hormones like estrogen and progesterone, which can be disrupted during menopause and perimenopause. This can lead to improved mood, fewer hot flashes, and better sleep. 4. Brain Health: Ketones produced from MCT oil can cross the blood-brain barrier and provide an alternative source of energy for the brain. This can help to improve cognitive function, memory, and focus. 6. Energy boost: MCT oil can provide an energy boost to midlife women because it is metabolized differently from other types of fats, and is converted into ketones that can be used as a source of energy by the body. Additionally, MCT oil is easily digested and absorbed by the body, which means that it can provide a quick source of energy without causing digestive discomfort. Some studies have also suggested that MCT oil can help to improve brain function, which can further boost energy levels and cognitive performance. 8. Try a couple of teaspoons of MCT oil in your black coffee (if fasting, any milk will break the fast but MCT oil won’t), froth with a mixer to make sure it is well combined. I found it really helped me keep full until at least 11.30am - and I don’t even like coffee! After a few days I found that I looked forward to this ‘treat’ whilst still fasting and it definitely help stave off cravings for food. See if it works for you but it’s always a good idea to consult with a healthcare professional before adding any supplements or dietary changes to your routine. Please visit our Midlife Library which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates. 9. 10.

Sleep is an essential aspect of our lives, crucial for maintaining our overall health and well-being. Adequate and quality sleep is vital for the proper functioning of both our bodies and minds. Scientists and researchers at Imperial College London have made significant contributions to understanding the importance of sleep. Their studies have highlighted how sleep influences various aspects of our lives, including cognitive functions, emotional well-being, physical health, and longevity. One of the key findings is that sleep deprivation can have detrimental effects on our cognitive abilities. Lack of sleep impairs attention, concentration, problem-solving skills, and memory retention. It can also lead to mood disturbances, increased stress levels, and reduced productivity. By recognizing the vital role of sleep, we can prioritize it in our lives to enhance our cognitive performance and overall quality of life. Deep Sleep: The Restorative Phase Deep sleep, also known as slow-wave sleep, is a crucial stage of the sleep cycle. It is characterized by slow brain waves and is responsible for promoting physical restoration and recovery. During deep sleep, the body repairs tissues, stimulates muscle growth, strengthens the immune system, and releases important hormones. This stage is essential for maintaining optimal physical health, as well as supporting learning and memory consolidation. The Importance of Sleep Hygiene Sleep hygiene refers to a set of practices and habits that promote healthy sleep patterns. Good sleep hygiene can significantly improve the quality and duration of sleep - Essential tips for maintaining good sleep hygiene: Establish a consistent sleep schedule Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends Create a sleep-friendly environment- ensure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature to facilitate better sleep Limit exposure to electronic devices before bed -the blue light emitted by smartphones, tablets, and computers can interfere with your natural sleep-wake cycle. Avoid using electronic devices for at least an hour before bed Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol, as these can disrupt your sleep patterns Incorporate relaxation techniques: Engage in activities such as reading, taking a warm bath, or practicing relaxation exercises to unwind before bed. The Relationship Between Sleep and Weight Sleep plays a significant role in maintaining a healthy weight. Numerous studies have demonstrated a connection between inadequate sleep and weight gain. Sleep deprivation can disrupt the balance of hormones that regulate appetite, leading to increased food cravings, particularly for high-calorie and carbohydrate-rich foods. Additionally, lack of sleep may affect insulin sensitivity, which can contribute to the development of conditions such as obesity and type 2 diabetes. What gadgets are available to assist with sleep? In today's digital age, various technologies have emerged to assist individuals in achieving better sleep. These technologies aim to improve sleep quality, track sleep patterns, and provide personalized recommendations. Sleep tracking devices: These devices, such as wearable fitness trackers or smartphone applications, monitor your sleep patterns, providing insights into your sleep duration, sleep stages, and sleep quality Smart mattresses and pillows: These innovative sleep systems use sensors to detect and adjust to your body's position, providing optimal support and comfort during sleep Light therapy devices: Light therapy devices can help regulate your sleep-wake cycle, especially for individuals who experience disturbances due to shift work or jet lag White noise machines: These devices produce soothing sounds, such as ocean waves or gentle rain, to mask disruptive noises and create a more peaceful sleeping environment. Recognizing the importance of sleep and prioritizing it in our daily lives can lead to numerous benefits. By leveraging available technologies, adopting good sleep hygiene practices, and understanding the impact of sleep on weight and overall health, we can optimize our sleep and reap the rewards of a well-rested life. Please visit our Midlife Library which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

The western world is facing an obesity crisis.  Recent data highlights a staggering reality: in the UK 3000 adults per day are being admitted to hospitals due to obesity-related illnesses, marking a dire situation where obesity rates have doubled in just six years and positioning the UK as the heaviest nation in Europe. In the USA 69% of adults are in the overweight or obese range. The financial impact, amounting to billions of pounds, underscores the urgency for addressing this health epidemic. The health effects of being overweight are huge (excuse the pun) leading to diabetes, strokes, heart disease, joint pain and cancer - not to mention our mental health conditions… lack of confidence, anxiety and depression. So what is the cause of this ‘epidemic’?  Is it our genes, our environment or are we just plain greedy? Let’s face it, we’ve been through a lot in the last few years.  Our working conditions have changed considerably with more people working from home - and therefore not walking, commuting, cycling to work as much as they used to.  Mental health has suffered through the pandemic and it’s easy to turn to comfort eating. We’re also suffering from ‘portion distortion’, a term that emerged following an academic article authored by Samara Joy Nielsen and Barry M. Popkin at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in the early 2000s. Back in the 80s a typical bagel was approximately 3 inches (7.5cm) in diameter - fast forward to now and the average bagel has doubled in size to nearer 6 inches (15.2cm)!  Fast food restaurant sizes have more than doubled (226%) and we’re now encouraged to buy larger sizes like SuperSize or Double Gulp.  (Side note: car manufacturers have even increased cup holder sizes to accommodate these huge sugary drinks!).  Meanwhile the average cookie has increased 700% based on USDA standards. Should we play the blame game?  Is it the fault of government for not educating us better on nutrition or being weak on sugar taxes?  Or should we take more personal responsibility for how fat we get? Eating is complex.  It’s clearly essential for life so would shock tactics like the campaigns against tobacco and alcohol be appropriate? Although we’re no longer cavemen with a hunt and gather mentality, evolution hasn’t kept pace with our modern life where food, at least in the western world, is generally available (including cheap junk food) which means it’s easy to eat, even past the point of being full. Movies and media have endorsed eating food for comfort.  How many tv shows have you seen where the broken hearted have reached for an ice cream tub and a spoon implying that indulging in a treat will make you feel better? Food labelling could be simplified - stating clearly how that product will impact your daily intake.  How often have you checked calories on a label to find that the product has three times that amount because it’s per portion not per package. But when it comes down to obesity, the basic cause is an excess of energy intake over expenditure.  In a nutshell, we eat too much and we don’t have enough physical activity to work it off. Japan have introduced a ‘fat tax’. The ‘Metabo law’ is, in theory, simple – stay below a government-mandated waistline of 85 cm for women and 90 cm for men or face the consequences. Employers and local government are responsible for the annual waist measurement check of 50 million Japanese aged between 40 and 74 - and get fined if employees are overweight! It’s unlikely that this heavy handed government approach would work in the UK or USA but, it’s possible that if stats don’t change, some radical ideas might have to be introduced. Back in the 90s scientists uncovered the FTO (also known as “Fatso”) gene with the strongest known effect on common types of obesity. Some variants of the gene increase obesity risk, while others lower it. However, the effects of FTO depend on environment. Even high-risk forms of FTO have little effect on body fat among people who get lots of exercise or eat low-fat diets. Basically if you eat right and exercise right, you won’t be fat. On our 9 January podcast episode of Two Women Chatting we chatted to Jane Michell, CEO and founder of Jane Plan weight management system about obesity and body reality. Jane told us “We're at a pivotal moment where educating people about what they consume is crucial. Food labelling is just the tip of the iceberg. It's time to confront what truly harms us — the excessive sugars and empty calories lurking in our drinks and snacks. We can't ignore the impact of these choices any longer.” No argument with that stance here.  A multi-faceted approach with shared responsibility between government, food producers and individuals is needed, starting with education in schools and for adults, accessibility to ‘good’  healthy foods, portion control and food labelling.  Sprinkle on a some government sugar tax and supported individual commitment and then maybe we can start saving the NHS some of approx £20 BILLION it costs to treat obese and overweight-related diseases. To listen to the full episode just click here Please visit our Midlife Library for which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content. Two Women Chatting have partnered with Jane Plan UK to offer our listeners £50 if they use code TWC50 as a new subscriber for Jane's weight management system.

In the last blog on 'So you want to start a business' we talked about the ‘enthusiastic hobbyist’, based on their ‘why’, ‘what’, and risk appetite. This time we introduce ………. The Reluctant Entrepreneur For the reluctant entrepreneur, starting a business is not their first choice career move. They would much rather be doing a job they love and getting well paid to do so, but circumstances and fate have conspired to create conditions whereby the reluctant entrepreneur simply cannot find such a role. The reasons why someone might find themselves in this position are many and varied. Redundancy or a change of circumstances (e.g. the need for flexible hours to care for children or other family member) can be an initial trigger, with a lack of suitable vacancies making the move back in to employment an uphill struggle. Sadly, attitudes to employing the over 50’s can sometimes exacerbate the situation, whether it's concern over lack of up-to-date skills in their CV or simple ageism. Either way, the reluctant entrepreneur feels that their best shot at earning a decent income (& having some sense of achievement and self worth), is to start their own business. This is their ‘why’. The ’what’ for the reluctant entrepreneur will revolve around the skills they have developed in their career, and their interest in learning new skills. Unless they plan a radical change of direction involving extensive re-training, the products or services they offer will be closely linked to their ‘what’. Unless there are certain activities that a reluctant entrepreneur simply cannot abide (or has convinced themselves they cannot do), no tasks are off the table. The need to make their new venture work (it is to be their only/primary source of income after all), trumps all but the most extreme distaste for any task or function. Given that the reluctant entrepreneur needs their venture to work, they will typically invest significantly to maximise the chances of success (their appetite to risk). To do anything else, especially if there are funds available, drops the individual out of the reluctant entrepreneur category and into a sub-category of ‘Time Bider’ – doing ‘something’ to bring in a bit of income until something better comes along or retirement age is reached. There are plenty of these out there and for some it’s a good short term option, but as there is no long term intent, we’ll say no more of 'Time Biders' here. So what are the options for the reluctant entrepreneur to start a business? Firstly, they must decide if they are going to build their own business or take a shortcut by buying an existing business, including possibly buying a franchise. If the funds are available within the appetite for risk, buying a business or franchise can be a good strategy. Buying a small business Buying a small business brings a ready-made brand, customer base, revenue stream, asset set, resources and (if there are employees) skills. There are a huge number of considerations when buying a business (too many to go into in detail here), but the main ones are: Reputation, strong financials, landscape (competitive, regulatory, etc), & risk (e.g. no hidden nasties in the background such as customer/supplier/employee disputes). And finally, there is the deal structure itself – how much will it cost to buy the business and how is the transaction structured? It may be possible to reduce, or even avoid completely, any upfront fees and do some sort of earn-out with the incumbent owner(s). There is no limit to the type of deal that can be structured if both buyer and seller are willing to co-operate in good faith. Buying a franchise For a franchise, scope for doing deals is limited as the vast majority of franchises will have set structures in place as to how the franchise works, including buy-in price and on-going fees. As with buying a business, there are too many considerations to list them all but: Reputation and landscape are critical, as are: Business Model (does the franchise do/offer a product / service that matches your skills); On-going fees (you need to be confident that you can generate enough revenue to pay these as well as earn your income); territory constraints (you’re likely to be one of many franchisees and if you’re hemmed in by others in surrounding towns/counties, your scope for growth is limited); support (does the franchisor provide on-going support and training); &, Lead generation (do you have to find your own customers or does the Franchise model help deliver warm leads). Building a company from scratch If buying a company or franchise isn’t appealing to the reluctant entrepreneur they will have to build their own company from scratch. The venture they start will be their main income stream and therefore needs to work from the off, so time spent planning is key – the reluctant entrepreneur can’t afford to go down expensive cul-de-sacs. Business Planning is a huge topic that will be covered in more detail at a later date, but the key thing to consider and work out is: The Value Proposition (VP) for the business. Everything else (sales & marketing strategy, operational strategy, financial strategy, manpower strategy, pricing strategy) is derived from and informed by the Value Proposition: WHAT are you going to offer customers; HOW will they benefit from it; WHY should they choose you to provide it. In a later post we will discuss some of the detail we’ve introduced here, but next episode we will introduce you to the Gung-ho Empire Builder. If you can’t wait to know more about how to start a business, please drop a note to the author, Colin Hall, Founder of bizplansuk.com a business planning consultancy, specialising in helping small and medium businesses plan for growth For more resources and blogs on midlife check out our midlife library of resources. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates

So, you want to start a business? But wait, what do you do first? Pick a name? Buy a URL for your website? Incorporate a company at Companies House? Write a business plan? All of the above? Stop. Before you do any of that, first, answer three questions. The first thing you must do is answer a simple question: Why? Why do you want to start a company? The answer to your question will determine in large part how you start and go on to develop your business. Perhaps you’re looking to turn a hobby into a side hussle or are looking for new purpose now the kids have flown the nest. Maybe it’s a long held dream to be your own boss, or you’ve had a Eureka moment that has convinced you that you're the next Richard Branson. It might be that you’re bored with your current routine or it could be as simple as just something to tick off the bucket list - ‘it’ll be a laugh’. The important thing is that there are no wrong answers, as long as they are honest. The next question is, What do you want to do? Not just what is your business going to do, i.e. the products and services it will offer (important as that is), but what do YOU want to do? For example, if your business is based on your hobby, how far will your enjoyment extend beyond the core of that hobby? Just because you love making jewellery (and are very good at it), doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy marketing and selling it (or be any good at that). If there are things you definitely DON’T want to do (such as sales or marketing on social media), then that will lead your business down a different path. The last question is, what are you prepared to lose? There is no such thing as a dead cert in life and this applies equally to businesses. If your business is going to require any sort of investment, whether it’s for capital assets (e.g. office equipment, tools & machinery), for stock / inventory, or for other working capital (rent, wages, utilities etc), then it’s all at risk, no matter how confident you feel. Just like going to a casino or a day at the races, don’t ‘bet’ more than you’re prepared (& can afford) to lose. Once you know your ‘why’, your ‘what’ and your appetite for risk, you’re ready to start. Start where though? In coming editions of this blog we will present different persona's that have common characteristics based on the answers to the three questions above - the enthusiastic hobbyist, the reluctant entrepreneur, the gung-ho empire builder, and more. For each we'll discuss the strategies that they are most likely to use in building their businesses which match their why, what and attitude to risk. Colin Hall, is Founder of bizplansuk a business planning consultancy, specialising in helping small and medium businesses plan for growth Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates For more resources and blogs on midlife check out our midlife library of resources.

Classic new year topic...but with a twist. Liz and Michelle want to lose weight but, as Michelle can't exercise due to upcoming surgery for a dodgy hip, they're coming up with ways to drop the pounds without leaving the sofa! From the Magical Leek Diet to Gastric Band hypnotherapy, a 'moist' January and food ideas, join their 2022 reset for a healthy lifestyle, whether or not you can (or want to) hit the gym. The Magical Leek Soup diet (check out Emily in Paris season 2!) really is a thing. Generations of French women have used this formula to detox and drop a few pounds. Widely shared in the book French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guilano. A two day diet basically living on leek veggie water followed by a small protein/vegetable meal on the second day, we can confirm it WORKS! Michelle managed a 6lbs weight loss (likely mostly water of course) which adjusted to 4lbs net loss by the end of week. A great way to get started on a reset! The PROS - definitely quick weight loss. The CONS - you'll be visiting the bathroom a lot as leeks are a diuretic. You might not get a full night's sleep as you need to pee so much! In Michelle's opinion... still worth it :) Meanwhile Liz is following the principles of a French diet by using smaller plates, no snacking, eating good fats to fill her up - but combining that with intermittent fasting by not eating before 11am/12pm every day and finishing dinner early (often preceding dinner with a ladle or two of soup so the main course isn't so large) and, drumroll please...... she's started cooking! Following a successful detox we're now going to give Gastric Band Hypnotherapy a go. Ultimately 'lazy', we get to lay down for 30 minutes daily to listen to a hypnotherapy programme that uses visualisation, suggestion and cognitive behavioural therapy techniques designed to make you convinced you've undergone gastric band surgery and therefore can only eat small meals. The programme takes 3 weeks and includes a bit of homework including a food diary to help identify triggers. We'll let you know how it goes! Listen to episode 4 of our podcast for some great ideas on making small changes in your lifestyle for great weight loss results. Please always consult with your doctor if you have any health concerns and before starting any drastic diets! Some ‘lazy’ ways to drop a few pounds without too much effort or exercise! Weigh yourself daily - it keeps you incentivised Add reminders on your phone - ‘don’t have that glass of wine tonight’ ‘go for a short walk’ ‘you don’t need that biscuit’ Post notes on and in your fridge saying ‘NO’ and ‘you can do this’! Have an apple instead of a biscuit if you are feeling peckish- cut it up as it takes longer to eat Serve your meal on a smaller plate Reduce your portion size just a little Eat a small bowl of soup as a starter - a couple of ladles soon fills you up Eat more foods that can boost your metabolic rate - chillis, coffee, ginger, tea, proteins 50% rule - stop halfway through meal and think ‘do I really want anymore?’ Don’t drink your calories - limit your alcohol intake Plan your meals ahead - don’t overthink it just decide what you are going to eat a day or two ahead Drink more water Drink a glass of water before a meal - it makes you feel full and less hungry. If you take sugar in your coffee or tea half the amount - it will make a difference over a year Intermittent fasting - don’t eat after 7.30pm (including snacks) and have a nice late breakfast If you don’t eat until midday the next day - that’s 16 + hours of fasting without even trying! Invest in digital scales – they give you information on body composition such as metabolic rate, age, fat content - obviously they are not totally precise but they certainly motivate you. When go to a restaurant don’t mindlessly eat 2-3 pieces of bread whilst you order or wait for the meal Get more sleep – you can’t eat when you are asleep! Studies show that taking a 20-30 minute 'power nap' during the day may help with weight loss. Try hynotherapy - plenty of companies and apps now off this For this episodes 2Ps (we dropped a P!) of Plan and Purpose we suggest: PLAN - consider making a Vision Board for 2022. It doesn't have to be too complicated. Find some images that mean something to you, that you aspire to, that are achievable. We added ours to the Home Screen of our phones and laptops so we get that positive reminder every time we open up. PURPOSE - achievable goals in exercise. If you're not able to get to a gym (or don't want to for whatever reason), consider some easy exercise, practically from your sofa! Whilst you're watching tv, pick five commercial breaks and do 10 sofa squats. So, from sitting, simply use your lower body strength to stand without using your hands - and sit down again. Repeat 9 more times per break. You'll be amazed how you can make a difference. If you're able to (and it's suitable for you), try a 'plank challenge' every day for a month. This simple exercise can really improve your core. Just start slow with forearms - and check internet for great plans you can follow. Get into pushup position. For a high plank, your arms should be fully extended. If you’re a beginner, you can start by doing a plank on your knees. If you’re more advanced, you can try one on your forearms for more of a challenge. Keep your palms and toes firmly planted on the ground, your back straight, and your core tight. Make sure your body is in a straight line while you’re in plank position. Don’t let your back or head sag. Hold your plank for the predetermined time. If your form begins to go at any point, drop to your knees or stop until you’re ready to return to plank position. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

Sending nude images to a boy – my teenager wouldn’t do that? Most parents would be surprised to discover that their children are sending or receiving nude photos but shockingly it is normalized in this era of smartphones and social media. One such parent is Gay Longworth. Shivers ran down our spines as we chatted with mother Gay and daughter Roxy for our podcast about their harrowing experience which caused Roxy to have a psychotic breakdown and ripped her family apart as she self-harmed and attempted suicide.Roxy who was 13 years at the time was coerced into sending nude images of herself to an older boy at school. Overcoming this horrendous experience they collaborated to write an incredible book When You Lose It which recounts in brutally honest detail how and what happened from both mother and daughter’s perspectives. By telling this personal and distressing story Gay and Roxy hope that it may prevent it from happening to other families. So what is Sexting? Sexting is when you send sexually explicit messages, videos or photos via mobile phone, computer, or any digital device. It includes being partly or totally naked, or in your underwear. It is illegal yet statistics from The Lucy Faithfull Foundation | Preventing Child Sex Abuse show that 60% of children in the UK have been asked for a sexual image or video. The FBI are taking it so seriously that they've launched a national campaign in the States. Sexting often starts as a joke, a way of getting attention, or as flirting. As parents it is imperative we discuss the issue with our children to ensure they understand the risks and what to do, if or when they're pressured to participate to send explicit photos of themselves. How Can Parents approach the topic of sexting with their children? It is a discussion that we Gen X parents didn’t have with our parents and therefore many of us are totally oblivious of what is going on in our teenager's and young adults' lives. But don’t be naive and think your child is too smart to do something which is now so normalized. Ofsted reports on seeming normalisation of sexting - Online Safety Alliance in the world today. It is not an easy conversation and could well be embarrassing for both parent and child but remember as soon your child has access to a mobile phone or computer they are vulnerable. To start the conversation you can discuss plot lines in TV shows or films or stories that have been in the news. For example; “ Do you know what sexting is?” "I heard on the news a story about a girl who is in trouble for sending naked pictures of herself to a friend. Did you hear about that?" Try and get them to lead the conversation and make sure you listen and are not judgmental- it’s a very different world out there! Keep the conversation informative and supportive– they may be rolling their eyes and appear not to be listening - but at least they know you are there for them should they need help or advice Tell them it is not OK to ask or pressurize anyone into sending a photo Explain that even though they may only be sent to a friend who promises not to share the photo that friend’s siblings may have access to the phone and may share the photo either deliberately or accidentally. Explain that once the images are out there they leave a digital footprint and it may be there forever. Deleting a post or photo does not mean that it cannot be shared. Tell them you understand that it appears to be the ‘norm’ but try and get them to think about the consequences – what would their friends think? What if everyone in their whole school saw the photo or video? FACT: It is illegal to send a nude image if you are under 18 years old? The age of consent is 16, and the relevant age in relation to indecent images is 18. They are breaking the law. (But don’t terrify them so they are afraid to speak to you in the future). What if your child has been sexting? If your son or daughter tells you they have been sexting, don’t be angry. Put yourself in their hormonal teenage shoes! The fact that they have spoken to you it is likely they are worried, so tread really carefully. Ask them about the circumstances and what led to why they sent or received the photo or message. It could be that they are being bullied or just didn’t think it was wrong. Don’t start a blame game – it’s too late. Your child is asking for help. What can you do to help? Tell them to ask for the message/images/videos to be deleted and to delete all messages on their devices If they are under 18 and a nude image or video has been shared online, it is possible to get it removed from the internet Report Remove | NSPCC They must not reply to any threats or blackmail- it is incredibly frightening so they need your trust as a parent or carer to stand up to the threats. ·HOWEVER, they have committed an offence by making and possessing that image and by sending the images to another person.They have then committed a further offence of distributing the image. The person who receives the image will also be liable for an offence of possessing the image. It is crucial you contact local police for advice and guidance. Please be aware that, while offenses may technically have been committed by the child/children involved, the matter is normally dealt with sensitively and considering all of the circumstances. Our heartfelt thanks to Roxy and Gay for sharing their story. Listen to our podcast episodes with Roxy & Gay on Coercion, Cosent & Consequences ‘When You Lose It by Gay & Roxy Longworth published by Welbeck Publishing. You can buy a copy here What people are saying about the book: ‘Read this book. Then talk to your sons. It is essential reading ‘Jamie Theakston 'An extraordinary and important book. Read it immediately' Claudia Winkleman 'Superbly written, this deeply moving book underlines how truly precious mother-daughter relationships are, and never more so than in those teenage years' Gloria Hunniford Listen to our podcast episodes on Coercion, Cosent & Consequences with Roxy & Gay Longworth Visit our resources page which has a collection of useful links from 3rd party websites and content and more tips for empty nesters. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.

How do I listen to a podcast? It seems a simple question but until I became co-host of the podcast www.twowomenchatting.com I had never listened to a podcast and to be totally honest it was mainly due to the fact that I had no idea how to. And talking to many of my friends (Babyboomers and Gen X as we are known!) they didn’t either. We grew up using phone boxes, fax machines and paying for all the music and movies we wanted to watch or listen to. So we assumed we would have to pay to listen to a podcast. Podcasts are absolutely amazing - all you need is access to the internet and you can listen to a podcast very easily and totally free. So what is a podcast? A podcast is basically a collection or series of digital audio files that are normally hosted by an individual or individuals who lead a conversation, share stories, discuss relevant topics, or report the news. They may be totally focused on specific TV series like The Office Ladies, historical events such as The Lady Killers or Two WomenChatting where hosts Liz & Michelle chat about redefining themselves in midlife. Each individual audio recording is known as a podcast episode and there are literally millions of podcasts out there so it can be very overwhelming. To add to this many podcasts hosts only record a few episodes yet they are still listed on most sites years later so you have to trawl through them all. How do I access a podcast? Most podcasts are streamed and accessed through Apple and Spotify but many podcast shows have a website where you can access and listen free of charge without the need for a streaming service. On a website The simplest way to listen to podcasts is on a web browser like Google Chrome, Safari or Microsoft Edge. You can do this from any computer or from the web browser on your phone. Find a website that has podcasts you like TWC www.twowomenchatting.com Find the player on the page, https://www.twowomenchatting.com/episodes check your device’s sound is switched on, and click play to listen to the podcast. On your iPhone or iPad If you have an I Phone you can use the Apple podcasts app to listen to podcasts. The Podcasts app should already be downloaded on your phone so search your apps for ‘Podcasts’. If it’s not, go to the app store and download it. Open the Podcast app and go to the search page -click on the magnifying glass button in the navigation at the bottom. A search box should appear at the top, next to another magnifying glass icon. Tap on this and type in the name of the podcast you want to find eg: Two Women Chatting (TWC). Hit “enter” on the keyboard. Choose the podcast you want from the search results and tap on it. This should take you to the podcast’s homepage. Once you’re on the podcast homepage you’ll see a list of recent episodes. Tap on one to play it. If you like what you hear, a subscribe button at the top of the page lets you subscribe for free. This means the app will automatically download the latest episodes to your library. On your Android phone If you have an Android phone you can use the Google podcasts app. Search “Google podcasts” in the play store app Install the app. Once you open the app, use the search box (look for the magnifying glass icon) and type in the name of the podcast you want to find eg: Two Women Chatting (TWC) Choose the podcast you want from the search results and tap on it again. This should take you to the podcast’s homepage. Once on the podcast homepage you should see a list of the most recent episodes. Tap on one to play it. If you like it, tap the subscribe button at the top of the page. When you subscribe to a podcast, it’ll appear at the top of the Google podcasts app, and a new section in the app will let you know about new episodes from podcasts you’ve subscribed to. You should also be able to listen to podcasts from the Google search app, just search for the name of the podcast. Listen via Alexa or Google Home You can do so by using the Alexa app and the Tune In radio service. You can play podcasts via Google Home just by simply using voice commands that specifically ask for a certain podcast. (Google: 'Play podcast about ....') Why should I subscribe to a podcast? The best way is to follow and subscribe to a podcast if you find good ones. Normally when you think of subscribing it means you have to pay but the good news is that the majority of podcast shows are free. One of the benefits of subscribing to a specific podcast you enjoy is that any new episode of the show that is released will automatically download to your device in your podcast app. That means that you seamlessly receive new content minutes after it is published by the podcast creator and eliminates the step of manual download. To subscribe, look for the subscribe button—usually available in a show description area. Of course, you can unsubscribe from a show at any time too. The great thing about podcasts is that you can listen whilst doing something else and as you begin listening you will find some shows lend themselves to “binge listening” and others you will want to take more time over. And don’t forget to if you discover a podcast you really enjoy write a review and share it on social media—it’s really helpful, especially for independent podcast creators for listeners to spread the word. So what are you waiting for? Find the app (or the website), browse, download, listen, subscribe, spread the word and become a podcast fan so many. Did you enjoy this article? Why not join the Two Women Chatting mailing list for regular updates.